Size Matters

Women, as a general rule, want to be smaller… not shorter you understand, most of us are already short enough!  Many of us claim not to be overweight, but under-tall or perhaps vertically challenged.  For most of us, buying clothes in a smaller size would be cause for delight… maybe even a little celebration with just the tiniest dish of ice cream with chocolate sauce, a dab of whipped cream and a cherry on top.  Double fudge brownie on the side is optional, of course.

Personally, I made it all the way up to five foot two and I still tower over my eight year old granddaughter… my feet are still a fraction of an inch bigger than hers, as well.

Her older sister is another story indeed.  That girl, now twelve and a half, has had bigger feet than me for the past four or five years, and now she’s passed me up in height.

I’ve got her on circumference, though.  I have more curves.  Right now, if that pre-pubescent child stands sideways and sticks out her tongue, she looks like a zipper.

I, on the other hand, do not.

It’s not that I’m fat…  in fact recently, a doctor told me that I am not overweight.

I love that man.  I recommend him to all my friends.

I used to carry around another sixty pounds, but then, when I hit my mid-fifties, I discovered water aerobics… it’s an exercise program that I really enjoy and I’ve made many new friends in the process.  It’s truly a win-win proposition.

I come from a long line of exercise-avoiders, so ten years ago, if you would have told me I’d ever look forward to exercising, I would have called you a liar to your face.

Now I teach class one day each week and if I miss class, I slip into B-drive in the blink of an eye.  There are a few people (mostly men) who can and will agree, but I see no reason for them to speak up now.  I’m trustworthy.

What’s B-drive, you ask?  Well, since you asked, I’ll tell you:  it’s b**ch mode…  and I don’t like it any more than those sweet unnamed men, bless their hearts.

Water aerobics has led to changes in my diet and the extra pounds have disappeared. I even have muscle definition.  My muscles are quite well-defined and I know how to spell their names, too!

My skin is another matter entirely.  It’s holding a grudge and insists on staying a size sixteen.

So now I have a size eight body inside a size sixteen skin suit.  It isn’t all that pretty but I’m healthier in both mind and body;  and I’m stuck with it.

You know what they say;  keep your friends close and your enemies closer.