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Body of Evidence, Part II

June 12, 2014
It’s not every day that I find a dead body in the church… or anywhere for that matter, so naturally, when I do, it quickly weaves itself into my daily conversation…
 
Like this morning…
 
I was in the pool, visiting with a few friends when Lonnie, our self-appointed class clown, arrived.  
 
Lonnie is well known for acting like a seventh grade boy;  he splashes some of us, teases others, and Heaven forbid someone should leave class early!  “Ahhh….” He calls out loudly, “This class goes from 9 a.m. to 10 a.m… Why are YOU leaving early?”
 
Most of us take his antics with a grain of salt; some give it right back to him, while others try to ignore him as best they can.
 
“Hey, how ‘ya doin’?  Anything new?”  He asked.
 
DeeDee and I exchanged a knowing glance;  both of us thinking that perhaps it was time we had a bit of fun at Lonnie’s expense…
 
“Well…” I said nonchalantly.  “I found a dead body in the church yesterday…”  
 
Really?”  He asked.
 
I silently prayed, “God help me, I just can’t resist!”  Then confirmed my statement with a nod.
 
“Wow!  Was it the pastor?”
 
“No,”  I replied, “it wasn’t big enough…”
 
He wanted to know more.  “Was it male or female?”  He asked.
 
“I don’t know… I couldn’t tell… the body was laying belly down.”  I explained.
 
Lonnie continued to question me… “Well…  was it old?”
 
“I don’t know,”  I answered, “Wait a minute… it did have gray hair…”
 
I saw DeeDee smile as she quickly turned away to talk to someone else.
 
Lonnie ran his fingers through his hair;  “Oh God… oh, Jesus…”  He muttered.
 
The poor man was buying it;  hook, line, and sinker…  
 
“Lonnie!”  I spoke loudly.  “Lonnie!”
 
Finally, he looked at me.  
 
“It was a mouse.”  I said.
 
You can imagine Lonnie’s response when he realized I’d been toying with him… I’ll not repeat his exact turn of phrase.  Use your imagination.
 
Lonnie quickly recovered. He soon began talking about his favorite ways to rid himself of a mouse problem.
 
I’d opened my conversation with most of the women in the pool in the same way I had with Lonnie, stating that I’d found a dead body in the church yesterday…  
 
The ladies reacted differently… every one of them looked me in the eye and asked, “Was it a mouse?”  

For some reason, Lonnie behaved better than usual for the entire class this morning…  go figure.
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