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Accident Prone

September 10, 2013

Some might say that my husband Jim is accident prone. Others say he doesn’t think things through.  It might be a little of both…

He’s fallen out of more trees than I’ve climbed in my entire life. And I grew up in the country with two brothers in a neighborhood where all the kids except me were boys. If I wanted to play, I had to play by their rules, and that included Tree Climbing 101. As an adult, I spent several years hunting deer. Jim taught me…luckily I didn’t pick up his knack for falling out of trees!

Later, in the span of fifteen months, Jim had five deer/vehicle collisions. He hit four of those deer, causing major front end damage to the cars. The fifth deer ran smack into his passenger side front door, rolling down the side of the car, damaging both doors and the rear quarter panel. All five deer died on the scene as did two of the cars. Aside from his pride, Jim was uninjured.

Jimbo has problems sleeping, too. That might be why he’s accident prone…or perhaps not.  God alone knows the answer to that one!  It might be one of those ‘which-came-first, the-chicken-or-the-egg’ conversations.

One night, Jim was tossing and turning , having a miserable time trying to get his rest.  He tried reading, watching television and bedtime snacks.  Nothing worked.

After hours of flipping from side to side, he decided to move to the guest bed.  That bed was situated under a window.  He rolled from side to side in that little twin bed, becoming increasingly frustrated with each passing minute.

In the morning, he dragged himself downstairs, covering his right eye with his hand, obviously in a great deal of pain.

I drove him to the clinic.  We arrived around nine o’clock.  The eye doctor’s first patient hadn’t registered yet (he was standing in line right behind us).  Jim was whisked into the exam room right away.  I tagged along at his request.  Anesthetic eye drops were administered and given a few minutes to take effect before the doctor entered the room.

After a brief exam of the wounded eye, the ophthalmologist diagnosed Jim with a large corneal abrasion.  He explained that it was like dropping a bowling ball on your hand versus cutting your hand with a knife.  It was blunt force trauma that covered a large portion of his cornea.  A scratch would have healed in a day or two, the doctor said.  This would take longer.  Jim would need two kinds of eye drops and narcotic pain medication for close to a week.  He needed to return for daily exams and he was not to drive.

‘What happened to your eye?  How’d you do this?’  Dr Quincy asked.

Jim explained his difficulty getting to sleep, telling the doctor that he tossed and turned most of the night; he tried sleeping on the couch, then moved to the guest bed around 3:00 a.m.

He’d flipped from his right side to his left, rather violently.  In the dark, he’d miscalculated the space between his body and the window sill.  He was closer than he thought and his eye was open.  During that final flip, Jim’s eyeball grazed the corner of the window sill, causing serious injury and much pain.

In time, his eye healed with very little scar tissue formation, thus preserving his vision.

Dr. Quincy checked out Jim’s left eye for comparison, and after he finished, he began a line of questioning we did not see coming…

‘When was your last colonoscopy?’ The eye specialist asked.

We hesitated, then asked him to repeat the question. Again, he inquired about Jim’s last colonoscopy.

I felt it necessary to remind the doctor that he just examined Jim’s eyes.  I really wanted to ask him where he got his medical license, but decided not to go there.

Jim pointed out that he liked to shoot the bull as much as the next guy, but he wasn’t that full of it…his eyes weren’t brown;  they were green.

Dr. Quincy explained that he noted a spot on the retina in Jimbo’s left eye that commonly occurs in people who have colon cancer.

Oddly enough, Jim had recently had his colonoscopy, and two precancerous polyps were removed.

That’s just weird…don’t you think?

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