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Fashion Statement

September 7, 2013

Cathy quickly rinsed the chlorine off in the shower after water aerobics class.

She baby-stepped her way across the slippery tile floor, arms outstretched for balance, ready to break a fall should she begin to hydroplane.

Finally, she made it to the rug and more secure footing where she hoisted her colorful woven bag onto the counter and began rummaging inside, up to her elbows in essential supplies.

First, she extracted a floral towel…one of those over-sized bath sheets splashed with yellow, orange and red blooms on a green background.

Next came a comb and brush with which she tamed a few stray wisps of hair, tucking them neatly back into the knot of dark hair atop her head.

Make-up was touched up and lipstick reapplied before she dove into her bag once again.

‘Oh no!’ Cathy cried. ‘I forgot my underwear!’

All of us wear our swimsuits under our clothing to class and share Cathy’s newly realized fear…knowing it’s only a matter of time before each of us forgets to pack our foundations. Some of us keep a stash of emergency underwear in our bags. Whether or not they actually fit when called into action is a bit of a crap shoot in my case…probably better than nothing though.

Men, we muse, can probably get away with going commando, no one the wiser.  Not so for most women…we have more jiggly parts that make it impossible to pull off the commando look with any degree of confidence. Our bright red facial tones and lack of eye contact…with anyone…would probably be the first to betray us. That and the fact that we would most likely walk about with our arms firmly crossed in front.

Most days, we come to class with a laundry list of errands to run afterward. Grocery shopping, a stop at the pharmacy and maybe the hardware store. We need to gas up the car and stop at the coffee shop on the way out of town.

Wearing only one layer of clothing from head to foot makes running our errands unthinkable.  Especially in the summer when there’s no need for heavy coats.

We willingly make the side trip back home to do it up right. We have our pride…or is it vanity?

We simply must take the time to return home and dress completely before we show ourselves in public. Being mature women, that’s just the way it is.

Cathy had apparently worn clothing unsuitable for commando…perhaps a light cotton blouse or maybe a gauzy summer dress.

She faced her predicament with grace.  Cathy drew her slightly overweight menopausal body up to its full five-foot one-inch stature;  wrapped her towel over her suit, firmly tucking the end beneath her left arm, then slid her feet into her whimsical yellow flip-flops and tossed her bag over one shoulder. Lastly, she pulled out her designer sunglasses and firmly planted them on the bridge of her nose.

Pausing at the door, she donned an attitude, her most regal air, and casually strolled through the gym, stopping at the desk to trade her locker key for the keys to her car. A very bewildered clerk did a double-take as Cathy proceeded out the door as if wearing a dripping wet swimsuit wrapped in a colorful towel was the most natural thing in the world.


From → Uncategorized

  1. Greg Frosig permalink


    Sent from my iPhone

  2. My kind of gal!

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